Perverse Ninja of Konoha
by Mrtakeiteasy
Summary: As a child, Naruto just grew up too quickly. Lonely, he looked in pursuit of something which may give him all the attention he needed…pranks? Who needs that when you have women around! What happens though when a pervert becomes a genin with real enemies?
1. Chapter 1

Summery : As a child…Naruto matter of factly just grew up too quickly. Lonely, he looked in pursuit of something which may give him all the attention he needed…pranks? Who needs that, the bathhouse!

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto…

WARNING: Before starting to read this fic, I would like to say that this is rated M because of sexual comments or in any case, innuendos.

Chapter 1

"NARUTOOOO!!"

Many screams were heard from the lovely hot springs of Konoha as one boy was running away from a mass crowd of women still in their towels.

"Ahahaha, excuse me ladies, but are you sure you should still be running in clothing which can easily as drop off? Not that I would mind of course hehe…" Naruto grinned as he continued running away before a kunai landed right next to his foot.

"Touché! I guess it's getting a little dangerous with the dazzling and sexy kunoichis chasing after a lonely 12 year old kid." Naruto smiled as he suddenly vanished from their sights.

"Where did Naruto go?"

"That boy has been openly gazing at us ever since 4 years ago, it's like a tourist attraction now a days!"

"Not for us ladies, he's looking at us!"

"Curse, there's always next time I guess…"

All of the muttering left as the women finally decided to give up and walk back to the hot springs after traveling such a long way to capture the little rascal. After they were out of view, Naruto dropped his genjutsu as he walked away whistling without a care in the world.

"Heh, that was sure fun wasn't it. Hope they don't actually hire serious kunoichi to take me down. That would take all the fun out of it now haha…" Naruto laughed aloud as he walked back to the bathhouse.

"Oi, Matsu, do I get my pay for today for the entertainment?"

"Heh, for a bratty kid who started with nothing and now getting paid for peeping. What has the world come to haha." Matsu laughed at the bathhouse stand as he threw a bag of money in front of Naruto.

"Don't go wasting it all now boy. I know its hard since no one will give you any food or clothing for cheap."

"Don't worry about it, I have to post up the recent blog onto the newspaper on who's the hottest girl in Konoha." Naruto sighed as he walked out the door heading back to his apartment.

"Don't get yourself killed boy, though you've made quite a name for yourself being the sharpest critic for whose the sexiest woman in Konoha. That eye of yours is truly something, never misses a single detail. If anyone ever thought about it, they might think you had a bloodline. Someday though, you're going to get mobbed by females for doing what you do." Matsu said before Naruto was out of range to hear his voice.

"Hmmm…I know that I was forgetting about something today…" Naruto thought hard as he was walking back before shrugging it off.

"NARUTO!! DID YOU FORGET TODAY IS THE GENIN SELECTION EXAM!" Iruka said grabbing Naruto by the ear and dragging him off.

"Crap…I totally forgot about that Iruka-sensei! Sorry about that, I was just soooooo busy about…well…doing what I do." Naruto grinned as he was being dragged.

"Hmph…some kid, getting a job just for peeking, lucky bastard…" Iruka muttered to himself wiping a bit of blood pouring out of his nose getting a bit of strange looks from the bystanders.

"Ewwwww Iruka-sensei, are you gay? You seem to be having dirty thoughts about me, or is it pedophilia?" Naruto said covering up his chest and his private parts.

"NARUTO! Enough! Were here already!" Iruka yelled as his face grew double its size with a shade of red unimaginable.

"You know…with a face that red, I'd almost believe it…" Naruto muttered to himself loud enough for Iruka to also hear.

"Hey!! It's Naruto, he's finally back!"

"Hey, who's the latest hotty dude?"

"Yea!! We all want to know which girl is considered the best looking of Konoha at the moment!"

"Well…You'll all find out when the latest issue on the newspaper comes out. I'm strictly a nonbiased critic haha." Naruto laughed aloud as he walked over next to Sasuke and sat down.

"Well, now that our fellow academy student has arrived, let's start with the exam." Iruka said as he started to call up named to go up to perform the basic jutsu.

"Pss…Naruto…"

"Hmmm?" Naruto looked to his left with a darkish grin as he looked at Sasuke. "What would Mr. High and Mighty want to talk to me for? Walking out of the closet eh?"

"Shhhh!! Damn…I hate asking you of all people for this…" Sasuke muttered to himself looking to left blushing before looking back at Naruto. This specific action was almost detrimental to all of the girls looking at them talking, especially that blush.

"Who do you think would be the best girl around our age to go out with? Also, could I get an opinion to whom would I be able to revive my clan the best with…" Sasuke managed to say with a heavy blush.

"Hehehe…Sasuke looking for a sex buddy? Never thought I'd see the day you would ask for girls and not a specific guy." Naruto darkly continued grinning as he say sweat bead out of Sasuke's head.

"Don't talk about him! Don't you dare damnit…now ANSWER ME!" Sasuke yelled before closing his mouth looking around getting stares from everyone around them.

"Alrighty then…There's quite a bit of girls out there our age. Mind narrowing the list down a bit for me?" Naruto asked getting to the point.

"Hmmmm…A kunoichi whose either a genin already or in our class…She can't be more than a year older than me." Sasuke said narrowing it down as much as possible.

"Ok…First up will be some of the fangirls who will most likely make it to genin. Starting up with our local braniac Sakura Haruno. Brilliant at using her mind if given an amount of time, she had little chakra to move around with, but will most likely succeed in genjutsus. She is also one of the more hardcore fangirls who is willing to do almost anything for you. She is recently on a diet to stay light and skinny, this also means that she will continue having a chest as flat as a washboard in the future. She has potential as a kunoichi maybe…but the body isn't something I would go for unless you want something exotic like her hair." Naruto said without having to stop to think.

"I don't think having a fangirl would be the best idea…" Sasuke said thinking. "Maybe you could move on to some genin, I would like a girl who is going to be accomplished and is most likely going to be stronger than most."

"Alright! Then let's move onto our friendly Chinese dressed girl Tenten. Currently, her breasts are still growing out and it's almost a B-cup already. In the future, I think they will stop at a good high B-cup. Her specialty is weapons and has a half crush on the last popular ninja Neji Hyuuga. Her body is quite fair-skinned for her age and the only thing that is preventing her from becoming extremely powerful is her adaptability. She also wants to become powerful from her obsession with the slug sage Tsunade, so she will have no qualms with training or eating."

"Hnnn…" Sasuke starting to think about it hard. "She seems to be a very good candidate from what your information says. She will most likely not hinder me from killing him if training does not turn her off…also her usage of weapons will be a great asset for training and many missions."

"Yes, there are quite a bit of other girls to go onto, but it looks like you're going to be called up with me right after. So make it quick, I want to publish my latest blog so I can get it over with." Naruto smirked as he placed his right hand out asking for money.

"Hmph…for good information…" Sasuke took out his wallet as he gave Naruto a thousand yen. "I hope that should suffice."

"For light information like this? It should surely suffice." Naruto grinned as he placed the money into his pocket in his bag of money he earned earlier.

"Naruto, come up here." Iruka said.

"Me already? Looks like the Uchiha got you to give him full marks by his "super HNNN"… look." Naruto laughed aloud as he looked at them. "So, what do you want me to do?"

"Mizuki, if you may start him off?" Iruka said as he looked at his list of how to grade.

"Alright Naruto, first produce a bunshin , then henge as well as a kawamiri." Mizuki said as he looked at Naruto carefully.

"Got it! HENGE!" Naruto yelled aloud smirking as cloud blasted into the room.

"Oh…Iruka baby…I think my breasts are feeling a little tingly, do you mind rubbing them to make sure they don't have cancer? Please be my first…I'm afraid that if I do, I won't be able to have a kid of my own. I want you specifically to penetrate me sexy…" A utterly drop dead gorgeous girl said as she popped out of nowhere. If details could explain what she looked like, I would sure describe it, but it was incapable of words.

"…Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss!!" Iruka yelled aloud giving a thumbs up as he flew out of his chair along with Mizuki by a huge gush of blood flying out of his nose. Suddenly...he felt something was wrong as he felt rough hands behind him which was holding him.

"Oh…Iruka-sensei, I never knew you felt this way about Mizuki-sensei. Getting such a blood rush just by looking at another man, I never knew you had it in you!" Naruto grinned as Iruka looked in front of him only to see Mizuki sensei with a dripping bloody nose as well.

"…Curse you Naruto! You pass…" Iruka and Mizuki said before passing out by blood loss.

Naruto just whistled to himself as he grabbed a headband wrapping it around forehead before walking out to greet his fellow classmates.

"Well, forgive me for saying, but I do believe that class is over as our sensei's have a serious case of blood loss. We will most likely have to come back tomorrow in order to find out who our sensei's are going to be." Naruto grinned as everyone started laughing imagining what Naruto did in order to cause such a case.

The next day…

"Alright you new genin, you know your teams now, so just wait here until they arrive to pick you up. Until then, I'm off…" Iruka said as Mizuki was missing for an odd reason.

"So I'm with Sakura and Sasuke hmm? Man…they must really hate me to put me with them. Why couldn't they put someone like Shikamaru? It at least would have sounded better with their names 

instead of hearing Sakura, Sasuke, then the random N sound of Naruto." Naruto rambled on once Iruka was out of the room.

"Hn…" Sasuke said as he looked down at his desk thinking about what they were going to do since there was nothing in the first place.

"GOD I'M SO BORED!" Sakura suddenly screamed aloud only to notice everyone looking at her.

"I didn't see that coming…" Naruto muttered to Sasuke.

"Me neither…" Sasuke wide-eyed at her sudden burst of words.

"Hey you three…lets go up to the roof so we can talk."

"So…I'm kind of hungry, want to join me go eat ramen later?" Naruto asked.

"Hn…"

"I guess that's your way of saying yes."

"Hey guys…"

"CAN I COME ALONG SASUKE-KUN??" Sakura outburst destroying everyone's thought bubble.

"Alright, I guess you three are staying at the academy"

"Nani? Are you our sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Well, since you were ignoring me all this time, I guess not." He smiled before planning to walk out the door.

"Wait sensei! Let us have another chance!" Sakura pleaded looking at him.

"Alright, then lets meet at the rooftop then." The silver haired man then teleported away leaving only a swirl of leaves to drift to the floor.

"I'm not cleaning that up…" Naruto quickly said as he made a start for the roof followed by Sasuke leaving Sakura behind.

"What? I'm not cle-" Sakura was about to finish when she noticed she was the only one left and grumbled as she picked up each of the leaves.

At the rooftop…

"Ok kids, lets see, how about we start with some introductions here? Tell me your likes, dislikes, whatever else you feel I should know." the man with silver hair said.

"Hn…how about you start us off Sensei." Sasuke said giving him the eye.

"Ma…I forgot to introduce myself haven't I? I guess I should start with an example hmmm…My names Hatake Kakashi. I like a bunch of things, my dislikes are quite a few…and that's just about it." Kakashi smiled as he looked at Sakura who was still grumbling as she walked in. " Why don't we start with the one with the glaring hair?"

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto. I guess what makes me special is a bunch of things which should be on the newspaper. You do read it right Kakashi-sensei? I mean, you do love Itcha Itcha Paradise so you should love what I write too…" Naruto said as Kakashi's eye's widened.

"How did you…wait…Naruto…that sounds so familiar…AH! You write that wonderful blog." Kakashi said back to his normal personality. "I heard you were quite an interesting person. Alright…the guy looking down all the time."

"Uchiha Sasuke…I don't have too many things I like and too many things I dislike. I don't have too many hopes and dreams…but I do wish to kill a certain man…" Sasuke said going instantly into brooding mood.

"And you pink haired one? From what you heard, you should already know what's happening."

"I'm Haruno Sakura…I like…a certain dark haired boy. I dislike…certain articles…like…well… you know. I hope to make many babies the man I like…heehee…" Sakura blushed and darkly giggled and started to hug herself getting many stares.

"That was…interesting…Well, let's head on over to training ground 8 and we'll start up the actual genin exams. Oh…and don't eat breakfast now!" Kakashi grinned as he vanished away with leaves on the ground yet again.

"He should be like a national litterbug with all the things he leaves on the ground for everyone else to clean. How annoying…" Naruto muttered before jumping off the building to another building heading on home.

"Hn…" Sasuke just walked out the door heading wherever he felt like going.

"Hey…don't leave me here to pick this stuff up again…there's not even a trashcan!!" Sakura said to no one as more leaves blew in onto the roof.

**OMAKE!! The Fake Continuation…Or IS IT?!**

After walking out of the door…Sasuke decided today had been such a good day it was time to get intoxicated. Underage? PFFFFFTTT, he was the friggin uchiha prince of all badasses Sasuke who should be pitied because his brother killed his family.

As he walked into the bar he shoved the doors open as he shouted out…

"GET ME SOME BEER TO DRINK! PRINCE UCHIHA NEED HIS BEER TO FEEL HAPPY! ME WANT ME HAPPY PLACE!!"

"…Uchiha Sasuke? GET HIM!!"

Suddenly 5 men appeared suddenly behind him and latched onto him. One of them then stood in front of him as he started to scratch Sasuke's chin.

"Hey Sasuke…I didn't know you were into gay bars, but it's ok…we'll make you feel RIGHT at home sexy… Lets bring him back boys!!" the man yelled as screams were heard made by a little boy going into a big boy's bar.

Author's note: Well…that's the end of the first chapter…yes I was bored and I kinda wanted to try this thing out. Though, I do feel like going back to my crossovers. This fanfiction will be based more on the perverted section then the normal ones you get haha. Well…if those of you did not want to read such a thing, then do not read the next chapter. Also, if no one likes it by the time I reach 10000 words, then I guess I'll stop ahaha, because it's going to be fun when Naruto encounter's Haku.


	2. Chapter 2

Summery : As a child…Naruto matter of factly just grew up too quickly. Lonely, he looked in pursuit of something which may give him all the attention he needed…pranks? Who needs that, the bathhouse!

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto…

Chapter 2

The next day quickly arrived as Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were just lounging around at the training grounds. Life has never been so great; there were no enemies, work, life, and even the occasional sensei which should have also been there.

"Sheesh, had I known he would be late I would be somewhere else…" Naruto grumbled as he sat down trying to find something interesting to do. Looking at Sakura would be a turn-off and Sasuke obviously would not be boy-material in his mind.

"Hn…" Sasuke said trying to maintain his all so clever stoic image. If there was ever a movement which was done, it was most likely done by his hair…it always seemed to sway greatly by the simple breeze to make up for his lack of action.

"GOD DAMNIT! WHERE THE HELL IS OUR SENSEI? IT'S ALREADY BEEN 1 HOUR DAMNIT!" Sakura gripped her head yelling out into the air with her stomach grumbling aloud as much as her own mouth.

"See…I told you Sasuke, diets is like the bane of the kunoichi; you now even have the prime example of what happens. They go pmsing without being in their period…though most girls actually don't have split personalities or mood changes THAT great. When that happens, there is usually a psychological disorder." Naruto said.

"WHOSE PSMING NARUTO, ME…PMSING WITHOUT REASON? RIDICULOUS, AHAHAHAHA" Sakura screamed aloud obviously seeming like she had lost her mind out of hunger and boredom.

"…I didn't think it was that bad…" Sasuke said wide-eyed as he quickly got out a notepad and scratched out the name of "Haruno Sakura".

"Hoooo, I didn't think you were going to that extent Sasuke-"kun". With all those cross-outs, you may have to fall back on men, wouldn't that suck." Naruto teased him as he crossed out another no-name person from his list.

"HEY! That was Hitomi, even though she is ditzy; I bet our kids would be hot!" Sasuke said in a sudden outburst surprising even Sakura from her paranormal self.

Before they could go any further with their conversations, a gust of leaves appeared between them all as Kakashi stood in the middle. In his two hands being held up were two bentos that he placed on top of two large wooden logs before he looked back at his students.

"YOUR LATE SENSEI!" Sakura screamed out even stronger then her random outbursts.

"Maa…I got lost on the road of life, it is quite the perilous path you know." Kakashi said trying to excuse himself for being late to the training ground.

"Ah, I understand that perilous path well Kakashi-sensei. Maybe next time it coincides with your schedule, I may be able to join you. Sometimes, it leads to the most interesting of situations." Naruto grinned as he saw a blush appear on Kakashi's face almost instantly giving away what he was doing before.

"Heehee, well, I think you got me this time Na-ru-to-kun…" Kakashi smiled before going back to a stoic face. "I was reading a good book and I was too absorbed in it before coming. Anyways, as you know, this is your genin test. Now, I'm a simple man so this is also going to be a simple test. Just get these two bells from my hand and two of you will pass to create the genin team. Ah yes, you might want to come with an intent to kill; otherwise, well, you get the point. Now, I guess I'll give you three a minute to prepare."

He smiled again as he held two bells in his hand to jingle it around before fastening it upon his waist. He then looked at all three of them to gauge how they were taking his simple yet complicated demands. Sakura was already panicking a little and was out of focus by the look in her eyes. She was clutching her stomach from pains as she quickly found a hiding space to observe her sensei.

Sasuke had already disappeared from his sight taking refuge on the treetops on his left looking closely for anything which may have seemed like a sign of weakness. It was good to see such a thing, but he was more closely looking at the bells than at the positions of his own teammates.

Naruto…he was just standing at the same place he always was. He was stretching out a bit doing some leg stretched and some splits to make sure he was warmed up for the fight. He then looked at Kakashi as he gave him the thumbs up sign.

"Uhhh…Naruto, aren't you going to hide or anything?" Kakashi said while trying to figure out what was the best way of handling such an occasion where the genin wouldn't hide.

"Nah, there's no point in doing so anyway Kakashi-sensei. Besides, how do we even find a weakness if you can't even gauge how powerful your opponent is. So, I guess I'll be the bait in order to find the single weakness you have, and I'm very GOOD at these things sensei." Naruto grinned as Kakashi somehow had a cold sweat though he should be obviously much stronger then the genin.

"Well, since we see that you're against me first, I'll start reading…" Kakashi said as pulled out a pretty little pink book as he dug his nose into it. "Whenever you're ready Naruto."

"Heh…Itcha Itcha paradise volume 3 chapter 2 page 57 column 7…" Naruto muttered to himself as he looked into the eyes of Kakashi before charging at him.

As he brought himself up close, he twisted his waist in order to create more force on impact before he lunged through only to hit nothingness. Naruto's eyes widened for a second before he felt some fingers on his ass before he looked behind him.

"Tsk tsk Naruto…leaving your back so open throughout the whole attack. I'm disappointed, but it's alright, I'll show you a secret kinjutsu I created just for this situation." Kakashi said before moving back with his fingers in the Tora symbol. "**1000 YEARS OF P**-"

"**SEXY NO JUTSU**!" Naruto said as smoke spread around making Kakashi freeze for a second to see what was coming only to notice a naked…and VERY indescribably sexy woman appear in front of him. This said woman then stood in the same position Naruto was at as she slowly snaked her hands behind her as she rubbed his fingers together.

"You were going to plunge these two fingers into my tight hole weren't you, dirty boy heehee… I can already feel you sticking it up and rubbing it around as I scream aloud from your skillfulness… You know how to please a woman don't you Ka-ka-shi-kuuuun…" The woman sultrily said as she continued to rub against his fingers. Kakashi still frozen and a slow trickle of blood coming out of his nose was paralyzed by her sexiness before the final blow came.

"Though…by the way you're always reading your dirty book, you must be horrible in bed and a lonely virgin pervert." The woman finally said as Kakashi's mind cracked from that comment as he passed out on the ground crying repeatedly saying how he was bad in bed… After that, the woman walked up to Kakashi as she grabbed the two bell's followed by another poof of smoke revealing Naruto again, but this time he was holding onto the bells.

"Heh, looks like I got the two bell's before anyone else Kakashi-sensei." Naruto grinned before he started to walk to the wooden log to pick up his bento before being stopped by Sasuke.

"Give me one of the bells now." Sasuke said a little peeved that Naruto had gotten the bells by such methods, but was also angry at himself for not doing anything.

"Now…Sasuke, what about Sakura-chan?" Naruto said before Sasuke looked to the left and ran to the tree and vomited a little. "Errr…I guess she did leave a bad taste in our mouths…but where is she, really."

Sasuke shrugged as he looked at Naruto closely before tackling him over and taking one of the bells quickly. He then ran over to where a bento was to grab it and threw one over to Naruto before opening his up to start eating.

"Hey! That was uncalled for, but I guess I had it coming since I had one of the bells. I assume were done for today since Sensei passed out and we each have a bell each. Though, I'm still wondering where Sakura is…" Naruto said a little concerned since he didn't want a person to somehow get lost and die.

"Why are you worried about her, do you like her or something?" Sasuke said before getting the same reaction out of Naruto as what happened to him.

"No…ughhh…she's still a konoha civilian even if she doesn't become a ninja you know." Naruto said as Sasuke nodded understanding his logic.

"Hn…" Sasuke said as he finished up his food and decided to leave already to go back to his own manor. He looked back for a quick look before giving an even quicker wave and left before anyone noticed he had lost his stoic mood for a second.

"Hahahaha! Sasuke actually waved at me, what's going to come up next, the entire bathhouse of girls willing to do an orgy with me?" Naruto laughed aloud as he walked away to the bathhouses since he was content with his amount of food.

While Kakashi was still foaming from his mouth from the comment which he had received, it looked like he was going to make a full recovery sometime soon or so the Hokage prayed as he looked from his crystal ball. Sakura though, was completely passed out from hunger was most likely not going to be found until Kakashi had woken up. As they do say, diets NEVER do a woman good; all it takes is some good exercise and eating along with some beer.

Meanwhile at the bathhouse…

"Did you read about the blog that he posted up recently on who the hottest woman in Konoha is?"

"Yea! I'm so jealous of that girl, I mean, she's going to have bragging rights for a month unless something drastic happens you know?"

"I heard that he has a huge package that was over half a foot!"

"huh…? That was random…but, are you SERIOUS? That kid is barely in his teens, no normal boy can have a package that large!"

"…hehehe…I can't wait until he's older, just think on how sexy he would be then. Also, how much larger his precious jewels would have grown too…"

"I can just imagine it; Naruto, the hottest bachelor in Konoha whose curse is his own deadly sexiness."

"He does hold…it…though…"

"…Damn, that's true, that just destroyed all my wonderful dreams and thoughts you know? I wonder though, is he really a demon…I just don't think a demon would be that capable of such perverseness."

"That's true…I could understand the sexy part, but I wouldn't think a demon would be so perverse…look of the devil, I think Matsu is going to let him in again!"

"Hey girls, you think this time we should do something else then just chase his around in our robes? I mean, he is only still 12 years old right?"

"Let's see how perverted a boy who hasn't quite reached puberty can be, this is actually pretty exciting though I can't explain why."

"Maybe the demon gave him a sexy body to please woman so it could go to sleep forever! This is going to be a fun day heehee…"

Now back to Naruto who was obviously oblivious to anything that was being planned in the bathhouse. Of course it would be like any other day, appear in the bathhouse, say hi to the girls staring at least of them and memorizing every curve. Then getting the rest of the information as they stand and try to get their towels, it was always a perfect plan for his ability to pay attention to detail.

"Hey Matsu, I'm going to going in around now, I'll try to get out of there without damaging anything." Naruto grinned as he paid a small amount of fee for the month to enter the hot springs. Nothing was free these days anyways except peeping on girls, and even those come at a painful price.

"heh, make sure you don't get too hurt now. After so long, they ought to be trying something new since you do the same thing almost every time. You're also going through puberty soon, so you're going to have a tough time once that starts happening." Matsu said as he gave Naruto the pass to go ahead with his endeavors.

"Meh…" Naruto looked around a bit to make sure no one was close before closing in to talk to Matsu. "Heh, well I bet you didn't know that the Kyuubi was kind enough to harden me up in case of seduction…it'll take a lot more than just a couple of women's bodies in order to get me hard enough to freeze."

"The demon actually complied and helped you prepare for such an occurance?" Matsu said incredulous as Naruto grinned at his reaction. "Doesn't seem very demon-like does it?"

"Well…even demons love sex, and this one is driven by it. Maybe sometime I can somehow introduce you to her heh…thanks to her puberty probably won't do that much to me." Naruto smiled as he started to walk in there.

"Thanks, but no thanks Naruto. Have fun in there…" Matsu said trying to keep a smile up before letting out a shocking sound once Naruto was out of range. "Holy mother of things which I may name but I'm not really religious things! The demon is a sex-driven GIRL?"

As Naruto walked into the bathhouse, it was almost just like a normal routine, nothing special or out of the ordinary. Everyone seemed to be still enjoying their time at the hot spring so it was probably as good of time as ever to drop in and say hi. For some reason though, there was a cold sweat which was slowly building, but he quickly ignored it.

"Hey ladies!" Naruto said grinning as he looked at each girl carefully. It looked like today's batch was much more mature than usual as they seemed to be still in their 20's-30 in age. He then grinned as each of the ladies stood up one by one as by normal routine as he was preparing for his escape.

As he was still observing, he finally moved up to their faces after being so attached to counting just how large each of their breasts were to notice that they were all grinning. He then smacked his face a little hard as he felt shadows looming over him as he saw five fully dressed kunoichi right behind me also grinning quite widely.

"Well ladies, I do believe you got me this time…even I can't escape from five kunoichi at this close of range." Naruto said as he shrugged looking up to their faces. "Now, I do believe I've seen your faces before, aren't you five woman who I've chosen before? If I can remember, your names were Kurenai, Hitomi, Yumi, Luna, and Beer."

"Don't call me Beer! It's so embarrassing that my parents named me after their favorite drink…They could have at least called me Sherry or something, at least that sounds better." Beer sniffed a bit even though she was called one of the hottest girls in Konoha due to her hourglass figure and C cup breasts which were quite perky.

"I get it…so…do I get to get out of this without any harm?" Naruto tried to negotiate without letting his eyes move a little lower where it was even more eye-catching.

"Oh no Naruto-kun, I think we have you just where we like it…you see, as thanks for choosing us and making us be considered the hottest girls in konoha, we think you deserve something special you know? If you were doing normal peeping, you would be feeling quite a lot of pain…but after time we realized you really are quite an interesting person." Luna said as she started to move a little closer to Naruto.

"Yes…it's really too bad you're so young after all. Though you probably would have never gotten this started if you were older anyways, but then we would have been able to do so many fun things together…" Yumi said as she casually crawled closer to Naruto.

"Errr…I have someone I like already…but I wanted to just give my thanks…" Kurenai quickly said with a light blush. "I'm glad you just don't openly rate us and is not extremely based on opinion and natural looks. Though…I hope you won't continue this when your older, your definitely going to make a lot of girls happy with your…skills."

Kurenai then quickly left the area as she was blushing to return back to her boyfriend. Then Hitomi suddenly creeped behind Naruto as she got him into a hug-lock so he couldn't get away. Naruto gave a light blush as he felt her warm breasts pressing against his back.

"Ummm…I think I should be leaving soon, I don't believe that…ummm…" Naruto blushed a little harder as each of the kunoichi's stripped themselves as he was frozen solid. 'aw crap…Kyuubi is so going to kill me tonight for actually "being" with other women…'

"Just enjoy yourself Naruto-kun…today were going to make it special. Just imagine it as your Orioke no Jutsu with multiple women…like a harem no jutsu with all different girls!" Hitomi said sultry as she gave him a soft scratch on the chin.

Little to say and minutes later there was a huge gush of blood which gave out from the woman's bathhouse. Naruto did not come out of there unharmed, he went out full prided and black and blue from being beat up by all the women. Like they say, revenge is sweet when being peeped on for over 4 years.

Author's note: I BET EVERYONE WAS EXPECTING NARUTO TO GET LAID 10 TIMES FOLD AND MORE!! Ahahahaha, well, anyways, in the end, there goes another chapter and another perverse version of what could have happened! Isn't that so awesomely interesting? Let's see…I think it was asked by someone but I'm not sure I'm going to create a harem in this. There might be a relationship but I wasn't planning in doing so unless I guess I make the girl Bisexual. Hmmm, well, I really don't know anyway, but I guess I could incorporate one. I don't know which girl though…bah, I'll think about it until next chapter lol.


	3. Chapter 3

Summery : As a child…Naruto matter of factly just grew up too quickly. Lonely, he looked in pursuit of something which may give him all the attention he needed…pranks? Who needs that, the bathhouse!

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto…

Author notes: Why do I have this here when I have another one at the bottom? Who cares, its fun to write this stuff, as well as listening to everyone's reviews, especially those who try to predict what I'm thinking XD. Well, have fun reading hehe. Remember to review and entertain me!

Chapter 3

"NO! I do NOT want another one of those stupid D rank missions Ero-jiji!" Naruto yelled aloud as the Sandaime was sweating a little as Naruto was not always the easiest person to please when it came to missions.

"Naruto-kun, would it be better if I allowed your group to take a C-ranked mission then?" the Sandaime tried to negotiate as Iruka was surpressing his wants to yell at Naruto for showing his type of respects.

"Fine…but there BETTER be hot girls where we go to!" Naruto grumbled aloud as their apparently new sensei, Kakashi, was to the side reading his brilliantly written pink novel allowing his students to negotiate.

"Hn…I don't know how you did it, but nice…" Sasuke said aloud showing that he was pleased they had finally gotten away from all those D ranked missions.

"I can't believe you Naruto! Treating Hokage-Sama with such disrespect!" Sakura tried to reprimand Naruto getting silent thank you's from Iruka. "I mean all you did during our whole time during missions was try to hit on girls and get a feel on their breasts!"

"Well, I can't help if their well developed compared to your own malformed set." Naruto stated bluntly as the guys in the room oh so happened to make a quick look to see the truth behind his words.

"Alright you two, lets get on to our client then. Since this is going to be an escort mission, I expect you to treat this man of respect as he is going to be paying for the mission." The Sandaime said before his doors were kicked open by a grey-haired man carrying a bottle of sake.

"Oi, are these brats going to be the ones escorting me back to my country?" The old man said as he looked at Sakura and quickly looked away in disgust. "Man, the girls in your country don't look as hot as it was told to be by all the articles I read. I thought they would be extremely sexy or something, including those who aren't old enough yet be at least cute."

"Heh, I'm sorry for my forever-to-be underdeveloped friend old man, but I think your going to be my type of guy." Naruto grinned as he approached the man and grabbed his bottle of sake and poured it into the glass he was holding.

"Kid, you have a lot of style. The names Tazuna, the greatest bridge-builder of all time. I'm going to be known in a few years so you'd better remember it boy, so what's yours?"

"Uzumaki Naruto, future bachelor of every woman living!" Naruto flashed a smile as Tazuna saw something in it which reminded him of another.

"Uzumaki Naruto eh? I think I'll be sure to remember that name…" Tazuna grinned as he started to walk out the doors before stopping and turning for a second. "Oh yea, my life will be in the hands of you four, so take care of it. Anyways, I got a good view on your team, so I'll be off looking forward to our leave."

As soon as he left, Team 7 had followed after leaving the Hokage's tower. As per usual, the four of them met up at the bridge where they waited for their sensei to finally disappear randomly again before splitting up themselves.

"THAT OLD BASTARD! How dare he look at me and think my breasts are MALFORMED!" Sakura screamed aloud attracting quite a bit of attention before having the decency to blush.

"Hn…he didn't even really meet the rest of us besides Naruto. I have a feeling there's more to his mission than meets the eye." Sasuke grinned as he walked off to his manor to prepare for the mission.

"Well, I think I'll be going now! It doesn't seem like anything happening, so I have other businesses to attend to while were at it." Naruto said as he quickly skipped away.

Now, what Sakura does and where she goes is never of any importance. She followed her usual schedule of visiting Ino's flower shop and get into an argument on whose more developed following by how large Sasuke was. Then it started to get into the rated X things.

Due to the indecently wrong thoughts produced by her, time had skipped to the next day…

"Ne, Tazuna, how much of Wave country is populated by women?" Naruto asked ignoring the blatant stare of the pink haired one to his left.

"Hmmm, now that I've thought about it, I really don't know. I believe maybe around 74% are women, but most of us at the moment are in a state of malnutrition. Its quite sad seeing how normally beautiful woman and forced to become dirty in order to survive." Tazuna accidentally leaked out crucial information as Kakashi's ears heard it widely.

"So, Tazuna-san, why is it so hard in order to survive in Wave Country?" Kakashi asked.

"Well…"

"I guess we'll have to talk a little bit later…" Kakashi smiled as chains stretched out from the forest wrapping around his body before splitting it into multiple pieces.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI! Oh no, our sensei is dead, what are we going to do?" Sakura screamed as she ran to Sasuke in order to get his support.

As Sasuke got into a ready position by positioning his body in a defensive stance as he lifted a kunai with his right hand. He then lifted his left hand as he covered Sakura up a little to reassure her so she wouldn't panic and calmly waited.

Naruto, being himself, walked over to Tazuna as he just stood next to him. He looked into the man's eyes as he already could tell that his client most likely had known such enemies would have appeared.

"One down…"

An echo screeched across the forest around them as another chain had thrust forward at Tazuna followed by another chain from the opposite side.

"Sakura!" Sasuke yelled for the first time catching her attention.

She nodded quickly as her Sasuke-fangirl senses could read his mind as she ran over and carried Tazuna jumping to dodge the chains. Sasuke followed after as he swiftly lodged the kunai he was holding at the intersecting chains stopping all of it's movement. He followed after grabbing onto both of the chains pulling out two ninja's.

Once revealed the one of the ninja had let go of his grip grabbing onto his partner by his arm using centripetal force in order to propel him at greater speeds for a killing blow across Sasuke's neck. Before reaching him though, a kunai appeared right before his neck as it cut clean across as inertia had prevented him from stopping.

"Ma…good job Sasuke going against Chuunin level ninja. However, overanalyzing the situation could also have left you to die if I did not appear at this time." Kakashi said as his body finally gave smoke to reveal he had used a complicated kawamiri technique.

"…" Sasuke stood still from shock as he was just about to die, not just that, but a foolish death which would have shamed him throughout death.

"Now, before I go on, let me take care of the final ninja." Kakashi smiled as he phased out for a second knocking out the other ninja at a speed the genin could not follow at the moment.

"Damn…such a foolish mistake made by me, an Uchiha…" Sasuke cursed his inability to fully defeat his opponents.

"Well, saying you did your actions alone, I must say that you had done quite well Sasuke." Kakashi said before turning to Naruto and Sakura. "Sakura, you also did well as you had safely carried Tazuna away from danger, so good job. Howevver, Naruto, you had done nothing and by that, may have caused more damage than may have happened. What can you say about that?"

"…I don't do guys." Naruto bluntly said as he shrugged making everyone around him drop to the ground at such a stupid reason not to fight.

"You realize this fact is most likely going to kill you in the future right?" Kakashi said seriously trying to make his student realize his faults.

"Guys are perverts, and we all know this. There is no man who will not succumb to my jutsu's, so I should have nothing to fear…Plus their no fun to go up against anyway." Naruto gave an unrealistic pout as he looked to the side.

"I give up…just try not to cause too many problems for our team ok Naruto?" Kakashi said getting a nod from Naruto before continuing to their client. "Now, Tazuna-san, I do believe that you have some explaining which we will need to hear."

"Haha, I guess that I can't get away now that we've been attacked. Well, here's the problem going on with our village." Tazuna started as he continued talking for about thirty more minutes before finishing it up.

"So, this Gatou is some type of rich gangster boss who wished to monopolize your country without having to deal with your people. He also fears your bridge being created because it may prompt a coup de tat. Due to the fact that your country is deep in poverty, you had to hire a weaker genin team to help out." Kakashi said.

"Yes…My grandson's father had died for out country and now only lives with his mother. I beg of you, please don't abandon this mission, at least until I arrive back at my country." Tazuna said shedding as many real/fake tears as possible.

"Hn…" Sasuke nodded to Kakashi agreeing to his proposal. Who ever knew that the great and mighty Uchiha was into drama and sappy stories?

"Well…If wave country had a lot of women, they have potential and I want to see it." Naruto said as he gave his ok as well. Sakura just quickly nodded as she just wanted to be on her beloved Uchiha's good side.

"Well, you heard my team; we will continue helping out regardless." Kakashi said before he quickly threw a kunai into the bushes sensing that there was someone nearby.

"Someone is near…" Naruto said as he sniffed into the air.

"What are you now stupid, a dog?" Sakura said as she smiled to herself at her insult.

"EVERYBODY, DOWN NOW!" Kakashi yelled aloud as he grabbed Sakura's and Tazuna's head and forced them to the ground to dodge a flying blade.

"Heh, saying that I was hired like a common thug; I had never expected I would be able to grace one as famous as the copy ninja from Konoha." A man said as he stood atop of a large sword which has flung pass the five of them.

"No…your not the one I smelled, I definitely had the smell of a girl…" Naruto said as he randomly disappeared.

"Does your student always abandon you Kakashi? It doesn't seem like he's a very good pupil…" Zabuza laughed aloud as he leaked out killing intent freezing everyone but Kakashi to their spot.

Naruto in the meantime was searching for the nearby female smell as he looked around within the trees. By the time he spotted 'her', he saw she was glued onto the fight that was ongoing not expecting any attack.

He quickly snaked his arms around her waist as he shifted his right hand onto her mouth before quietly and quickly whispering his own types of jutsu.

"**Chinmoku no Jutsu (Silence)**"

Naruto than quickly gave a quick rub against her chest only to realize there was nothing there as he starting to rub around the inner thigh. He knew he was effective as her face, though covered by a mask was shaking. Whether it was from pleasure of fear, he couldn't tell with the mask on. His fingers then slowly crept upon the nether regions before his fingers froze in fear as he felt a bump. However, as he tried to take of the mask to confirm something, 'she' suddenly got free from his jutsu from his moment of distraction and quickly threw a senbon needle to immobilize him for a moment as she fled.

"Zabuza-sama, let us leave now!" The masked one said as she grabbed Zabuza and instantly left.

Doing so had deactivated the prison of water holding Kakashi as he fell to the ground grasping for air being forced to hold his breath at such long periods of time.

"Who was that other ninja, and why did he retreat so fast when Zabuza was winning." Kakashi thought to himself as Naruto revealed himself again when everything was already over.

Seeing that Naruto too was still in contemplation, Kakashi decided that it was not worth the effort and just allowed everything to continue how it was and consider that it was more of a lucky break that Zabuza had left when he did.

With Zabuza…

"HAKU! Why did you suddenly pull me out of my advantageous position? I had their jounin sensei perfectly grasped within my hands, the one and only Hatake Kakashi, and his pupils were going to easily fall to my mizu bunshins." Zabuza said as he got on his own feet and started running along with the ninja now identified as Haku.

"That boy…he crept up behind me without my notice." Haku blushed a little.

"I didn't believe that Kakashi would have had a pupil capable of such stealth to sneak up upon someone such as you. Your blushing as well, care to explain what he had done?" Zabuza asked.

"He…groped me…more like went for my nether regions first…" Haku looked down blushing even harder.

"Ahahahaha!!! I never expected him to do something that that. Wasn't it important that we bandaged your chest and placed and object there just in case? Then again, there is no such thing as a difference in male and female in battle, you should move on from the past." Zabuza laughed aloud, "This student of his is quite amusing, I would truly like to see this man on the battlefield whether he is a child or not."

"Zabuza-san!!!" Haku whined and she huffed and kept moving.

"That's enough Haku, we will attack again in three days." Zabuza said.

"Why three days Zabuza-san, we can easily attack again now and finish it off quickly." Haku asked.

"It is fine, being patient is not always such a bad thing Haku. In this case, it may allow some interesting things to happen and result in more fun opponents." Zabuza grinned as the two of them left back to their hideout.

Author Notes: Hmmm…I had this chapter done a while ago, didn't update, why?...I dunno really… hahahaha lolages. Trying to find a topic which would interest me and those who read it. Pretty hard to do actually, losing inspiration fast is what is happening really; maybe…a crossover with something again…hehe…


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